It was our first move together as a married couple. He’s an engineer; I’m a bit of a “Type A”…ok quite a bit. My past moves consisted of staying up all night unpacking to the point of looking like I had lived there for years. Now here I am with the love of my life and he is measuring every which way to Sunday to hang one piece of wall art, at this rate it will take forever to move in!
That’s IT! Before the vein pops out of my forehead I tell him “what I do is hold the picture up, “eyeball it”, scratch a mark with my fingernail, hammer the nail, and then “boom” hang the picture I’m done, a total of three minutes”. He thinks that is absurd and now he understands why my previous home had so many holes in the walls. I insist that is irrelevant because the picture covers those mistake holes and there weren’t THAT many! His opinion is that it should be done right the first time even if it takes longer. Oh Boy, this is getting ugly…
Does this or has this happened to you? Something so insignificant turns into World War III. Maybe your daughter wants to wear jeans with holes in the knees, your son likes his hair long, your husband/wife loads the dishwasher wrong, or it can be a list of many other miscellaneous things. Whatever it is that gives you heartburn but at the end of the day doesn’t matter?
Ask yourself, is this important in the spectrum of life? Is it more about control and you wanting people to do things your way? Or maybe you are worried about what other people think? This is when you have to step back and focus on the relationships and realize that ultimately, that’s what is truly important. Don’t let stubbornness or concern about other’s opinions damage the connection with the ones you care about, or even those you don’t care that much about for that matter. The question I always ask myself – Is it worth it?
What if we all evaluated the conflicts that cause us stress and filtered out the things that fall into the ” It’s not worth it” category and agree to disagree? We’d probably have much more peace and harmony in our lives. I say that as I walk out of the room while my husband is hanging another picture, I’ll be back in 30 minutes…Love him!